Maybe it's just me being a total cynic, but I don't really fancy the idea of "soulmates" at all. I'd say... making your relationship with your other half work takes a lot more effort than just the idea of the both of you being "meant to be". That's when the Knapps Model of Relational Development comes in. It describes the progression and development of relationships in 10 stages.
Simply an instant connection with a stranger or "love at first sight" is almost never going to end up in a successful relationship. We need time and effort in building it. In the first five stages of the Knapps Model of Relational Development, it describes exactly how two people meet, get to know each other, become closer to each other and finally legitimizing the relationship through marriage and starting a family together.
What if a relationship meant to last forever fails? Exactly how does one go back to being all alone after losing your apparent soulmate? Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnation, Avoiding and Terminating. The five stages for coming apart in the Knapps Model of Relational Development clearly describes the downfall of any relationship.
Let's reference 2 fictional characters' relationship in regards to the model.
Monica and Chandler, from one of my all-time favourite television sitcoms, FRIENDS.
How did their relationship progress from being mere friends to lovers? Chandler began dropping hints that he was interested in Monica during the first season. He genuinely increased his efforts in season 3, but Monica thought he was joking and expressed little interest in a romantic relationship. At Ross and Emily's wedding in London, a somewhat intoxicated Monica and Chandler slept together. After hooking up in London, they both of them decided that they simply couldn't remain just friends anymore.
Stage 1 - Initiating: They first started testing the waters for the possibility of them dating in season 5.
Stage 2 - Experimenting: The both of them were apprehensive at first, but after seeing Monica being asked out on a date by an attractive doctor, Chandler, upon realizing his true feelings for Monica, got jealous and finally decided to go into a proper relationship with her.
Stage 3 - Intensifying: Throughout season 5, Chandler and Monica embarked on a secret relationship and their friends were completely in the dark about it.
Stage 4 - Integrating: Their friends finally find out about their relationship and the both of them officially comes out as a couple.
Stage 5 - Bonding: Monica proposes to chandler at the end of season 6. They get married at the end of season 7 and adopt kids in season 10.
So, what are your thoughts on "soulmates"? I'm sure the die-hard romantics out there would argue that their other halves are somewhere in the world just waiting to be found!
